Music of the Night

It was the middle of the night, but really, things like that had never stopped Julian before. Why start now?

Staring blankly down at the letter in his shaking hands, the lanterns hanging above the only light guiding his aimless walking. Mouthing the words of the letter as he read them for the umpteenth time, his breathing became more and more ragged. He didn't even understand how just a damn letter could make him feel all - all of this.

Gritting his teeth, he momentarily glanced up at the overcast sky. How was his charming older brother doing right now? He was probably discovering a cure for cancer or something like that. Snorting, his vacant eyes dropped to the letter again, "Oh Corin," he muttered aloud. "You are that heartless. But guess we're all just one big happy family of heartless bastards, aren't we?"

Letting out a humourless laugh that ended in a choked out sob, Julian's eyes rose to glance ahead of him for a moment before he glanced over his shoulder, staring up at the majestic palace behind him. For years, Beauxbatons had been the only place he'd ever really felt happy. But all because for once, he'd tried to actually do something right and actually be nice to his elder siblings, he felt just as if he'd never left home.

The swirls of anger and sadness were there, but they should be...more. Really, the only feeling that was overpowering was the same one he'd felt for weeks: empty. 

His breathing spiking up as his eyes slid over the letter again, Julian wondered why he didn't just tear it up to shreds. But the words were already imprinted into his mind. Torn up or not, the letter would still, and always would be, there.

Half-witted scribbles...did his brother really have to rub that in? Julian got it. He wasn't as smart as him. Of course he wasn't, he was practically a genius. And Julian? He was just - 

"The devil's spawn," he muttered, his eyes squeezing shut. But not being able to see the letter didn't stop it's words from rebounding over and over in his head. 

The part that he hadn't let himself dwell on was the one that seemed to resonate the loudest, but the harder he tried to push those words away, the louder they rang in his brother's voice. 

Coming to a sudden stop underneath one of the brightest lanterns, he swayed dangerously on his feet, trying his best not to focus on those words. But it was like a dead body in the way it seemed to gain his attention. 

HOW DARE YOU KIDNAP ODILLE! She is one of our last hopes for innocence, and you took her. I demand to know where she is or I will personally see to your demise. Maybe Father was right about you after all.

His throat constricting, Julian found it more and more difficult to breath. He could hardly think anymore. Barely noticing as his entire body began to shake, he blinked hard against the tears welling up in his eyes. He wasn't going to cry. He'd already broken that promise to himself already. He wasn't going to do it again. 

Kidnap Dilly? The thought of it was making him feel sick. He could never...

"Of course he was right," Julian murmured, the darkest of laughs bubbling in his throat. "I've always known that."

Swallowing hard, he shook his head. Did he mean that? Did he really? But it didn't matter. In the grand scheme of things, he didn't matter. Another little choked out sob breaking free, he suddenly realized that his cheeks were wet. Rubbing at them furiously, his lips trembled and before he could really stop himself, whatever mental walls that Julian still had left broke.

And with that, for the first time in three years, Julian Rousseau completely broke down, the letter that caused it all slipping from his fingers. 

It had hurt.

Limping through the hallways of Hogwarts as fast as she could, the girl had dodged ghosts and prefects, professors and other students, climbing the ladder into the Divination classroom though it tugged on the very muscles the hospital wing was supposed to be healing. The flash of pain was easy to ignore, as long as she-

Stopping at the edge of the hatch once she was inside, Karma paused to breathe, collecting herself before making her way across the familiar classroom and into her M- Professor's office. With a quick incendio and a throw of floo powder, she was gone, spinning through time and space.

The fireplace she appeared in was unfamiliar - the shop was closed, empty, easy to escape from - but the beacon of sadness from somewhere in her mind was easy to follow. Continuing her way, she pushed through the doors, blinking at her surroundings before disregarding them, making her way as fast as she could.

"Jul-" She was beside him in an instant, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him to her. "Stop it." His sorrow was starting to pool in her own eyes now, and she was having none of it. Pulling away, she slapped him hard across the face, letting out a gasp of air the moment he felt it. "Ow! Julz!" She pouted up at him, the reminder that she felt what he did stinging on her cheek.

"What's got you like this?" She mumbled, wrapping an arm around him as Nightmare appeared from the shadows. "Nightie!" Catching the kitten sized ball of fur that pounced at her with a happy meow, Karma cuddled her Familiar to her, her arm around Julian never loosening. The kitten purred and nuzzled into her chin, before hopping onto the boy's shoulder and nuzzling into his neck.

The calming familiarity of the kitten's presence soothed Karma enough for her to start to feel the pain of her bones, the soft illumination of the lanterns highlighting the scar on the right side of her face. Her hair covered most of it, having grown down to her chin, but the pain that was eminating from it was starting to bother her again. She'd rushed out before taking another pain potion, which she should have. If she was correct, her leg was bleeding again.

Pushing these thoughts away, she looked up at Julian, frowning at the slight height advantage he had on her. Was everyone going to be taller than her? "You've grown." She noted, blinking.

He didn't hear her come up. He was too busy choking out sobs and trying to remember how to breath to pay any attention to his surroundings.

So when Karma came out of practically nowhere and wrapped her arms around him, Julian flinched violently, practically jumping out of his skin. Recognizing her, he relaxed slightly, holding the breath he hadn't noticed he was holding. "You're here. What - What are you doing here?" He choked out between body wracking sobs, shivering into her hold.

Turning wide blue eyes up to meet her brown ones as she pulled away, his breathing hitched for a moment. He didn't even have time to react before her hand smashed into his cheek. Fresh tears suddenly building up in his stunned eyes, he raised a hand to slowly cup where she'd hit him. Letting out a tiny little snort of laughter, his lips curled slightly. He wasn't sure if she'd actually forgotten that she felt his pain or not, but it was still amusing.

In a different frame of mind, he might have actually laughed.

"It's nothing, really. My brother's just being an asshole. Nothing new there, right?" Trying to laugh, he only ended up letting out a little sob. Watching Nightmare and Karma, his eyes filled up with tears again, but this time they were relatively happy ones. Rubbing at his eyes with a hand, he gently threw his arms around her. He could feel her pain, and didn't want to make that any worse.

Glancing down at the letter at his feet, he made no move to pick it up, not wanting to look at it. Closing his eyes for a moment, he let out a shuddering breath. Blinking his eyes open, he glanced down at Karma. "Oh, I guess I did. My dad's tall. The only good thing about him." Shrugging, he blinked back more tears.

Karma winced at his hurt, her hold on him tightening in response. What was it with him, more than the other pets? His pain actually felt.. almost familiar. Almost...

Like she'd felt once.

Trying to focus on feeling soothed, the girl offered him a small almost grin for his laughter, her heart lifting slightly at the happiness that came as his eyes rested on her and Nightmare. The kitten had made itself at home in the boys hair, curling into a ball and purring to sooth them both. It was working for Karma, at least.

"Corin?" She questioned softly, gazing up into his eyes again. "What did he- I doubt its true. You shouldnt-" believe it. If she was sure of one thing, it was this.

Wavering on her feet, she tugged him over to the grass beside the sidewalk they were standing on, much more comfortable now that they weren't exactly in plain sight. Taking his hand, she sat down heavily, unable to stay on her feet any longer. "Comere." She murmured, tugging on his hand. Once he sat beside her, she snuggled into him, offering comfort in the most basic way she knew how.

Contact.

"You forgot his other redeeming feature." Karma joked lightly. "The claw marks across his fa-" her voice cut off suddenly, a rush of insecurity budding from where her hair had been combed to hide the right side of her face. Closing her eyes against those thoughts, she rested her head on his shoulder, bringing her knees to her chest as she attempted to relax. This was no pllace for those feelings; the scars made her look more deadly, like a threat, not ug-

"Besides," She murmured, deliberately sidetracking herself. "You're loads better than anyone in your family. Even if you don't know it. They underestimate you."

Looking up at her, his eyes still wet, he frowned slightly. He really needed to stop feeling so much. He needed to remember, for both their sanities, how much him feeling down or - or anything really, affected her. He couldn't exactly just stop feeling anything, but he'd do anything to stop feeling so sad and bad for himself.

But it was better than feeling empty.


Smiling back at her, he flicked his eyes up to grin slightly at Nightmare. He really didn't know what he'd do without the two of them.

"Sadly," he muttered, glancing back at Karma. "He just -" he cut himself off, taking a deep breath to stop himself from crying again. "He thinks I kidnapped Dilly and wants to kill me for it."

Letting her pull him off the sidewalk and onto the grass, he sat beside her. Automatically flinching back from her contact, he gritted his teeth, annoyed with his own obsessive need to hate touch. But he did move back towards her, snuggling back.

Tilting his head slightly as she cut herself off, he glanced at her curiously for a moment. But if she was going to tell him, he wasn't going to pry. "Yeah, well that doesn't stop them from being monsters, does it? Underestimating me or not, I'm still just that outcast middle child."

Curling closer to the boy, Karma scowled, anger bubbling before she could get a hold on it. "Why would he- you are the last person who would kidnap Dille. Doesn't he know that?" Growling softly, she sighed, leaning further into him. "You aren't worried about him killing you, are you? I'd kill him first." The words were simple, nothing behind them but truth. It was simple, really. You defended your own, and Corin was not one of Karma's. Julian was.

"I'm a monster." Karma said softly. "Surely I'm not that bad." She hid her face in his chest, the insecurities from the right side of her face blooming in her chest. Her fingers began to play with the fabric of his shirt as her mood plummeted downward, and she was unable to bring it back up. "Middle child or not, you're still the most remarkable. That's the real reason you're an outcast."

"Apparently not," Julian muttered under his breath, sighing softly as he pulled Karma closer to him. Sometimes, he didn't even understand how the two of them were related. Just because they'd grown up together and had the same parents didn't make them brothers. Hell, his friends were more of a family then Corin had ever been. "I'm not, no. I'm not scared of him killing me." Shaking his head, the blond's eyebrows knitted together in thought. He wasn't scared of his brother, not in the slightest. "Thanks though. But Corin's more talk than anything else." he added with a shrug. 

"What is it with everyone thinking that they're monsters?" Julian wondered aloud, frowning down at Karma. Absentmindedly running his fingers down his right cheek, he blinked down at his hand before turning back to the half-vampire. Placing a hand underneath her chin, he gently tilted her head up, meeting her brown eyes before flicking his blue gaze towards the side of her face. Brushing strands of her hair back, his eyes widened slightly at the sight of her scar, illuminated by the lanterns hanging above. Looking at her hesitantly for a moment, biting his lip, he shook his head before reaching out and tenderly running his fingers along it. 

"Scars don't make you a monster." the Prideux frowned. If they did, wouldn't all his bruises make him one? "It takes a lot more than that to make you a monster. Like in the fairy tale Beauty and the Beast, sure the beast was huge and hairy and everything, but he was a good guy at the end." He shrugged, his fingers tapping out an unsteady rhythm. "What I'm trying to say is that you're still the same person, scar or not." 

He shrugged again, leaning into her, "But I don't want to be outcast. I just want to be part of a normal family. I just want to be normal." 

"Maybe you're friends with a bunch of monsters." She muttered darkly. "I was born only half of what I should be, and it hasn't been beneficial to me once." Her mood plummeted further downward, and it seemed there would be no bringing it back up.

His touch surprised her, even as she looked up at him. Her wide brown eyes gazing back at him before he looked-

"Julian-" She whispered.

Her eyes fluttered closed as he brushed her hair aside. She didn't want to see his reaction - his horror - to the imperfection that marred the side of her face. Half of her had always been imperfect, and now the world could see it. Now, everyone knew. At a glance, they knew it all.

This being is not as it should be.

She jolted minutely at his touch, swallowing the lump that had developed in her throat. "Julian-" she mumbed again. "Don't-" her voice was barely audible, barely there at all, before she was cut off by his words. She almost laughed at his anology, Beauty and the Beast. One of her favorite movies.

A single tear rolled down the perfect side of her face.

As perfect as his comfort was, she was not in the mood to be optimistic, and her mind took to tearing apart the story, coming to a roaring halt at one specific part.

"Am I to die before I'm beautiful again?" She asked, barely able to speak around the thickening lump in her throat. Her eyes stung, and her entire body was trembling. She didn't know why. Why did this bother her so much? She'd never been one to- to- obsess before a mirror. She'd never been one to think vanity was a nessetity. She had always just been-

Beautiful.

And no one had loved the Beast for years.

"Nah, it's worse than that. I'm related to monsters." He grinned, but there was nothing joyous about it. The rough smile, illuminated by the lanterns above, only served to illustrate just how much the middle child resembled his father. "At least being a half-vampire has its perks. There's nothing good about being -" It was funny, how Julian found himself unable to say, or even think the word. It was part of him, had been ever since he could remember it, but for all he was, the word could never be uttered from his lips. "- this." He finally settled on, biting on his bottom lip.

His gaze slipping back to her eyes every time she spoke his name, he reached over with his other hand, brushing her tears away. "Hey, don't cry, Karm. It's not -" It wasn't what? He couldn't just say that it was nothing. The scar was - "Scars heal. Unless you get your name changed to Scar or something, but you're not a lion, so I think you'll be alright." Offering up a little smile for his attempt of a joke, his fingers ran across the scar again.

"Again?" he raised an eyebrow. "The scar doesn't make you ugly. I like girls, I know these things. It doesn't." Julian shook his blond head of hair, frowning. "And death's just a little extreme, don't you think? I mean, you'd just be dead, no more or less prettier than before." Pulling her closer to him, his hands maneuvering in circles along her back, he added, "If it's any conselation, if I met you today, I'd still flirt with you."