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    Not Quite a Virtue

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    Vera Parker
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    Not Quite a Virtue

    Post by Vera Parker on Tue Nov 20, 2012 5:27 pm

    Running, she had to keep running or else... He was after her, right behind her. Vera knew that, if she didn't keep going then Noel would get her, no not her - a baby. Her baby.

    Noel was going to get her baby. He would always get her baby. It was pointless, she knew that. "Unlikely" that he wouldn't.

    A tiny shriek escaped her lips as she tripped over root falling to the ground, as a large creature burst through the woods behind her. Coming at her. It was large, and furry, its snout snarling.

    It was her.


    Even in her sleep she couldn't escape. The woman let out a sob, the most concrete sound aside from the mumbled moaning she'd been making since the moon and died and the kiss of the sun had turned her back into a woman, as she jolted to consciousness.

    In the few seconds after she awoke, eyes still closed, every stupid thing she had done came rushing back to her. And then before she could properly deal with that, the reason she had run to those stupid things reminded her of its existence as a whiff of pine of all things sent her stomach on edge.

    Leaping to alertness with a speed she didn't think she had had the energy for, she dragged herself over to a bush, completely ignorant of her surroundings, or really her own person, as she emptied the contents of her stomach. It wasn't until she was done and her hair swished back around her, that she was aware of another person. Catching the moment of someone walking away out of the corner of her eye, her shoulder's sunk.

    She already knew who it was. Vera didn't want to face him, not like this, not after what she'd done. Usually she'd do anything to see Brock, but he was the only person in the world she didn't want to see her like this.

    Yet he was the only one who always did.

    "Brock, I..." glancing over her shoulder she caught the plain of his retreating back and sunk in on herself further. She didn't know how to stop the sob that escaped. "I... can't." What she couldn't do, she didn't know, but that was the only word that came to her mind.


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    Brock Veni Cox
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    Re: Not Quite a Virtue

    Post by Brock Veni Cox on Tue Nov 20, 2012 11:51 pm

    His bare feet were silent over the grass as he continued his pacing, back and forth, back in forth, next to his Volchitsu sleeping form, ears perked for odd sounds in the forest as his gaze remained on his feet. His muscles shifted in post-change unease as his mind continued to work, worry creasing his forehead as his ideas got progressively worse and worse. He tried his best not to jump to any conclusions, but he'd found the test on the table, and he could smell it even on her wolf so there wasn't much more he could thi-

    He was suddenly by her side, holding her hair back and patiently waiting for the contents of her stomach to fully reorganize itself. Once she was finished, however, his restless energy was back, and he was pacing again, moving away from her. He turned and started in the opposite direction, even as she began speaking, still deep in thought.

    He paused beside her, eyes sweeping her form. He had put her in his shirt while she slept, disliking the idea of anyone else seeing her unclothed. "How do you feel?" He asked, crouching down onto his haunches to meet her eyes. Concerned brown eyes searched hers, even as he reached forward and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear.


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    Vera Parker
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    Re: Not Quite a Virtue

    Post by Vera Parker on Wed Nov 21, 2012 12:05 am

    Why was he being so, so nice, so concerned? Didn't he care what she had just done? Where was the anger, or the shame? Why didn't he hate her? She hated herself. Maybe enough for both of them.

    Her head moved slowly to one side, and then another, the action sticking and suddenly she found she couldn't stop shaking her head. It was a compulsive act. Not sure if it made her feel better it was at least something.

    "How can you be so-so-" her jaw clenched and her face fell apart for a moment, the despise she was feeling broke to the surface again. "I can't Brock. I can't do it. I c-can't go through that again, I just can't. I can't lose another one." Her voice was getting louder and louder, shaking more and more as Vera progressively got closer to hysteria. "I know, I know its going to... twice, I did it twice. I can't... I can't take it."

    Her voice dropped again, and her face broke. A sob hitching in her breath, shoulders shaking.

    "I can't."


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    Re: Not Quite a Virtue

    Post by Brock Veni Cox on Wed Nov 21, 2012 12:35 am

    "Hey." He said firmly, placing his hands on both sides of her face and forcing her to look at him. He glared at her a moment, eyes sweeping her features before he pulled her closer, into his arms. "Breathe."

    Running his fingers soothingly through her hair, he frowned at her. "You aren't allowed to panic." He murmured. "If I can't panic, you can't panic." Sitting back, he pulled her to his chest and onto his lap, cuddling her. "Why don't you just... tell me what happened?"


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    Vera Parker
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    Re: Not Quite a Virtue

    Post by Vera Parker on Wed Nov 21, 2012 1:08 am

    Curling into his firm embrace, Vera hid herself away in his chest, pressing her cheek against he breast bone, feeling the stead beat of his heart beneath her. Taking in slow even breaths through her nose, she focused on that instead, counting each and ever beat until she convinced herself that something was normal, that something was right.

    But nothing was.

    "I-I was drunk," she said in a soft voice, still shaking, but not nearly as hysterical as it had been before. "I was stupid; I didn't even mean to get that... but I did, and then I got mad. I hurt, and I got mad so I thought.. I thought... I had to tell him. He had to pay for what he did." She was shaking again, she couldn't really stop it, though she wanted to. "But... but he didn't... he-he was just so.. Noel. And I was so-so drunk, and lonely." Her voice shook for a moment and she stopped. Vera couldn't continue, hating herself for even saying the words, and that didn't even begin to describe the actions that she had committed.

    "They said last time that it would be unlikely that I could- there was too much damage scar tissue or-or something to properly- I shouldn't be able to have-have a baby, because of-of-" again she stopped, not able to say it, and feeling she didn't actually need to say it anyway. They both knew what she was refering to.

    "And yet now... I am." She bit her lip, and shook her head. "But it won't last none of them last," true it had only been once before - not including the original time - but Vera had been hopeful then. She had thought that would make up for everything.

    She was devastated when she miscarriaged barely two months in. "And I can't handle it again Brock. I can't."


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    Re: Not Quite a Virtue

    Post by Brock Veni Cox on Fri Nov 23, 2012 6:43 pm

    He listened carefully, fingers smoothing back her hair as he focused on her, his hold gentle for the moment. A slight crease grew between his eyebrows at her story, concern growing as his hold on her became more secure. Surely... surely she was over reacting. Surely...

    A growl, unchecked, automatic, burst from his chest at the mention of that name, eyes flashing red as his hold tightened protectively - possessively. He had never like that damn name, and he hated the man behind it even more. Taking a deep breath he forced himself to be calm for her, cuddling her closer to his chest.

    "I will make sure it lasts." He said softly. "I will do everything in my power to make sure your baby is- is every bit as perfect as you are." His fingers rested her abdomen through his shirt, concern coloring his voice. "You don't have to worry about anything anymore. Not the other wolves, not him-" His voice dropped into a deep growl, but he controlled it after a moment. "and not me. You only have to worry about the little one in here." He caressed her skin, as if the wolf cub was in there already.

    "All you have to do..." He pressed a brief kiss to her hair. "Is trust me."


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    Vera Parker
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    Re: Not Quite a Virtue

    Post by Vera Parker on Sat Nov 24, 2012 2:37 am

    The growl startled her, settling deep within her bones, an unsettled feeling, confusion, jumping in her, only to be removed completely by the feeling of a hand on her abdomen. Slowly reaching down she traced the path of his fingers slowly after him.

    "It's already got a heart you know," she said softly, a small smile tugging at her lips. It was easier to focus on these things, these facts that she'd known since the very first time, instead of the truth she knew. Brock could do everything in his power - but even his power wouldn't stop her body from being broken. "A tiny heart, and a tiny brain, in another month or so that heart will already be beating. And not even an inch long."

    All that, and who knew if she could even keep the life going for another month. She really couldn't take it again. It was impossible for her not to become attached, to not hope...

    Gaze removed from her baby, where it was growing, she glanced up at the man promising to take care of her; really he always had - they had taken care of each other. There wasn't anything they hadn't gotten through without the other.

    Hands still on her stomach, near his own, she leaned forward and brushed her lips softly against his, "I always trust you."


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    Re: Not Quite a Virtue

    Post by Brock Veni Cox on Tue Nov 27, 2012 3:13 pm

    "They're already perfect." Brock said softly, eyes caught on the movement of her fingers after his. Entertwining their fingers, he rested it against her abdomen, calming himself down by a sheer force of will. So distracted was he that he completely missed her coming to kiss him, and jolted when their lips brushed. Blinking at the sensation slowly spreading from huis stomach, he leaned forward slightly, brushing his lips against his once more.

    It felt... It felt...

    He brushed his lips against hers a third time, just to be sure.

    "I will protect you."


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    Re: Not Quite a Virtue

    Post by Vera Parker on Tue Nov 27, 2012 4:31 pm

    She had never done that before; never actively crossed the boundary line between their friendship and something more. Vera had harboured feelings for years, feelings that she wouldn't allow herself into enact upon because she was sure he didn't wish for them. Brock was not her mate - as Zino so helpfully use to point out; he was emotionally attached to another, and he didn't need her adding to his problems.

    He kissed back. Of all the things that she had done recently, of all the problems that she had, that simple fact, that simple yet confusing fact seemed to make it better. Just for that moment.

    The warm feeling of both their hands entwined over her growing child she almost believed that he'd be able to do it, to do the impossible - keep her baby going, even when science said it shouldn't. Unable to stop herself, the encouragement of his own lips on hers,she kissed back taking control. This one became longer, building slowly, lingering when she finally pulled away. It was the only way she could say all the feelings that were building up in her. All the feelings she'd always had. Out loud they were dangerous, completely so, because it should be impossible for him to reciprocate them - she would always win, but Vera couldn't keep them locked inside any more. It screamed in everyone of her actions, everyone of her looks. Brock just always seemed to miss it.

    I love you.

    Nodding her head, she folded back into his hold. Back to where they normally were, and out of her lips came the only words she knew she was allowed to say "I know."


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    Re: Not Quite a Virtue

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