please don't let me go

Clouds. There were too many of them today.

The only good thing about the weather was that for the past weeks it had seemed to mirror her mood. Soon, the rain will come; she had a feeling it would. Plus, it had said so in the forecasting judges... which was most of the Ravenclaw population. They were smart, sure, but Tshering had highly doubted that they could predict the weather.

The greying sky made the girl's face look sallow as she sat on the bench at the edge of the street. She didn't receive much sympathy, and even if someone tried to comfort her she'd decided that she didn't need any. Because the day was so cloudy a lot of people had decided to stay in, so the streets were quiet. Worst of all, she didn't even bring an umbrella to cover herself. Dear fuck.

Deciding that the crisp autumn wind was too chilly for her, Tshering propped her feet up onto the bench and hugged her legs, resting her forehead on her thighs. Merlin, she was going to hate this. So much.

Charles knew that this was going to be an ugly day. When he went out of his room the day was already grey. Rain was definitely coming.

He didn't like the rain but sometimes Millicent would run outside and get a bucket, fill it with rain water and splash it on him. Those times were a long time ago. He didn't mind because he didn't want to see Millicent for a long time.

As he walked around Azorat, Charles saw a familiar face and one he didn't want to see. He sighed. "You out on a rainy day too?" he asked. He didn't sound very happy to see her.

Tshering looked up, and her heart sank when she saw who was speaking to her. Charles. The face she had least wanted to see. She then buried her head back in her thighs, trying to hold back the tears she had longed to shed. He was here, right now, in front of her face, and she can't answer a simple question. He didn't deserve to see her like this. He should only see her when she was glorious, because she was so scared that she'd break him...

As if she hadn't done enough of that.

"Yeah, I'm out on a rainy day," snapped the girl, her snappy tone trembling, "except it's not quite raining, now is it?"

"No," Charles agreed. "It's not raining." He then sat next to her on the bench, even if there was not enough room. This was going to be very long and very ugly conversation. He can tell. It didn't matter because there are things that need to be solved right now.

"It's not raining yet," he said again. "But it will be raining soon." His hand came to Tshering's hair. He strokes it as he talked to her. "Didn't you bring an umbrella? If the rain falls on you and you don't get a coat in time you might get sick, you know? I don't want you to be sick."

He just wanted to talk to her, to hear her beautiful voice sing.

"I figured," Tshering noted, trying not to flinch when Charles placed his hand on her hair. She was supposed to be used to it considering the time that they had spent practically ogling each other on the floor, but perhaps the reason she had nearly flinched at this one was because those were reflexive actions, but this was a voluntary one.

She took deep breaths before letting herself curl towards him, resting her head on his shoulder. "No," she muttered, "I didn't bring myself an umbrella. Don't you remember I'm immune to rain sickness?" She let out a laugh, but it was a bitter sound. "It's alright, you really didn't have to remember. It's a really stupid fact about me anyway."

The girl then pressed on, "What are you doing out here anyway? I'm just being amazing by being miserable."

Charles realized that Tshering was slightly terrified of him when he was stroking her hair, so he did it more gently. "Do you like the rain, Tshering?" he asked. "I know I know the answer to that question, but I want a longer answer. I like hearing about you and your weird family. It makes me think that you trust me."

"Rain sickness?" Charles asked kindly. "Is it real, Tshering? Or do you mean the time you get sick after being too exposed to rain?" Using the arm that had Tshering's head, his palm continued to stroke her hair. "That's not a stupid fact, Anna," he said, saying her first name gracefully. "It might look stupid to you, but it's actually kind of cute for me."

Charles smiled, "I just had a feeling you'd be out here."

"A long answer?" Tshering questioned, but she merely drew her breath and began, "the rain. Yes, I love the blessed rain. It always makes me feel good when it pours itself all over me... especially when the temperature is close to freezing point. You feel all of these shivers all over your skin. Gods, it's comfortable. It makes you feel so numb you can barely think of anything else. It makes me relax. It makes me happy." She then pressed her cheek against the Hitrost's cheek. "I'll always trust you, even if we end up hating each other."

The Ravenclaw couldn't help but squeeze out a laugh. "I definitely meant the latter, Chuck," the girl responded affectionately. She liked it when he called her Anna, and around him she made no attempt to deny it. "Do you know how mixed up you get sometimes?" she grinned, and at his statement about her fact, her heart leaped with joy. She then tilted her head so she can press a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you," she mouthed, a grin on her face.

Tshering smirked. "You know me well," she breathed, and leaned in gently to press her lips on his. This may be the last time she'll ever do it, and Merlin, she's definitely going to miss this.

"I don't like the rain that much, because..." Charles began. He knew about why he hated the rain - because Lena did too. Actually, she didn't like the sea and lakes unless they were frozen and Charles was influenced by that. Except it affected him a whole lot worse. "Once, my friend's sister drowned in a lake. I kind of hate water for what it did to my friend herself. She practically broke." Charles smiled at Tshering's words and liked the feeling of their cheeks together. "Yeah. I will too. Or at least, I'll try," he said. "After all, don't make promises you can't keep, right?"

Charles laughed. "Of course I know I'm pretty mixed up!" he laughed. "That's why I'm the coolest boy in the world, right?" He shrugged his shoulders. "You're mixed up too, so you're the coolest girl in the world. Always." He blushed when she kissed him on the cheek. He's going to miss this when he's in France. He took her hand and held it as tightly as he could.

Tshering kissed him and Charles wasted no time to respond, his lips knowing hers like the back of his hand. He held her closer to him, as if he would never let go.

By the tone he was speaking, Tshering could tell he was probably speaking about his Lena friend, but if he wanted to talk about her then that was fine. She understood, because at times she too wanted to rant about someone. Also, she was very special to him, and she found it unfair that she knew about his friend, but he knew none of hers except for Grayson. After all, she was bound to tell him about Oliver eventually. "You're absolutely right," the Ravenclaw agreed, the thought alone making her cry.

Trying to hold her back her tears, Tshering croaked, "A-Always? Like forever and eternity and for life, beyond our children and our grandchildren, beyond sickness and health, beyond wealth and poverty, and beyond death do us part always?" She stared at their hands and took a deep breath. Was this the last time all of this was reality and not some sort of sick fantasy in her head?

Tshering pulled back from the kiss, trying to gasp for air. "Dear," she mumbled, "we have to get to the point soon, Chuck."

Charles looked at Tshering when she began her speech. He suddenly felt that they were in a wedding and she was his bride making her wedding vows. It wasn't his fault! The way she said it made it sound that way! "Yeah, I guess, we'll see," he smiled. "I don't like making promises I can't meet. Always. We're always going to talk to each other right? Al to the fucking ways."

He nodded. "I think that I should start with why you sent me that owl," he said sadly. "I don't even know what you were thinking. I thought it was a joke. Why did you send it to me?"

"Of course!" Tshering exclaimed, "and if we can't talk to each other, there's always owl, right? You'll remember to owl me when you're in France, right?" That was a stupid question; she had been owling him the entire time they were apart. How else did they manage to be up-to-date with each other's lives? The brunette then laughed. "Al to the fucking ways?" she echoed, cracking a smile, "that's just cool. I'll use that. Always. Al to the fucking ways."

Taking a deep breath, the Ravenclaw closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She wasn't used to be interrogated - well, it was more like a simple question, but it pierced deep into her soul - like that, in an improptu manner. "I-I have my doubts," she muttered.

"What are you talking about?" Charles asked. "I already send you an owl every night. What are you asking me to do, love? Are you asking me to owl you during classes?" He then took a small laugh. "If you want it to happen and if it was allowed to happen then I would. I am not getting the both of us into trouble by sending love letters in class."

His eyes widened in disappointment and anger. "Doubts?" he cried. "What doubts would you ever have about us? Is it the distance? Is it..." He shivered. "Someone else?"

A smirk came over the Ravenclaw's face, her eyes shining. "Of course I know, Charles," she replied, trying her best not to roll her eyes, "after all, I write to you every night, now don't I?" Her eyes raised, and she managed a chuckle at his words. "Merlin," she mumbled. She shook her head disapprovingly, her mind questioning the boy's intelligence. "We write more than love letters, buddy," she remarked.

Tshering looked down at the floor, her eyes blinking back the tears. "I-I..." she began, her voice reduced to nothing but a croak, "I don't know, okay? I-It's just that... I... I... I don't like breaking promises, but I know that with that owl... I already have."