The Scars Remind Us

The grand library was familiar, gigantic, big enough to hide in, secret enough to disappear for days. Geoffrey and Father hadn't bothered to come talk to her, and she only turned up for dinner, completely ignoring breakfast and lunch. At meals, she was sullen, silent, picking at her food as her fingers itched to comb her hair over that side of her face, or tug the hat rim farther down to that side, dispite Geoffrey's weak order that no hats were allowed at tables. She had stayed in the library, throwing herself at her experiments with a single minded gusto that usually was reserved for her obsessions. Perhaps this was an obsession; the idea of forgetting, the suggestion of ignorance.... it was appealing. That's what this was.

Distraction.

Balancing easily sitting atop the high ladder attached to the shelf, the young half vampire kicked apathetically at the shelf, wheeling the contraption along the structure as her dark brown eyes flickered from book spine to book spine, searching for a specific title, even as her baseball hat - rim tilted to the right to throw her scar into shadow - impeded her gaze. She was about ten feet from the carpeted floor, but the height was not something that bothered her.

She could smell him enter the room, even if his entrance was nearly silent. Briefly, she debated calling out, but he'd find her anyway. He always did. Especially when she hid. Kicking off again, the girl followed the curve of the room, kicking hard enough to be transported at least twenty feet around the outside of the room, and thus, further from the man-child who had just entered.

Caius went to the large table in the open area of the room where his tutoring sessions with Karma took place. She was an interesting person, a blend of immaturity and premature adulthood - so nearly a woman, in some regards, but very much a child in others.

It wasn't his job to analyse her, however. His job was to teach her.

"Miss Black," Caius called. "If you could join me, we can get started. Am I right to assume your studies at school are going well?"

Selecting a book from the shelf, the young half vampire flipped it open, pushing herself further into the library and thus further away from him. She didn't want to be around someone who could read her as well as Cai could, and she wasn't in a particularly learning mood.

She'd rather focus on her experiments, and the way the hat kept her looking beautiful. It was better than having to see his reaction, the way his eyes would flick to the scar rather than her eyes. The way it had become her most prominant feature.

Sometimes, she trully believed ignorance was bliss.

Sighing, Caius put the rest of his things on the table. Then, he pulled a chair over to the nearest bookcase and stepped onto it, jumping to catch the edge of a high shelf. Steadily pulling himself up, he climbed onto the very top. It was true that he could have wound between the multitudinous bookcases, but this way, he could see just where that ruddy library was going.

And it was faster.

He broke into a run, jumping from shelf top to shelf top, altering direction as necessary. Then, he made a final grand leap, for a moment, flying through the air before landing on the ladder just beneath her.

"Alright. Fun had," Caius said seriously. "Come on down, now. I'll cast a hover charm on you and carry you if I have to."

Of course he was running about on bookshelves. Honestly, couldn’t he just leave her be? Maybe she actually wanted to be alone. Maybe she was enjoying her own company.

Maybe it was easier to lie to herself than face other people.

“I’m not in the mood to learn today, Professor X.” She muttered. She didn’t bother to look up from the book as he landed, barely waiting for his feet to touch before she was moving again, kicking them further into the library.

“Aw, don’t I get to at least be carried in your arms, Superboy?” She asked silkily, unable to keep the bitterness from her tone. “I don’t do flying anymore.”

"Unfortunately for you, I am in your father's employ, not your own. That means, I'm hear to teach you, whether you are in the mood to learn or not." Cai regarded her for a moment, then gave a solemn nod.

"Very well, then," he said. "Have it your way." Then, as promised, he cast a hover charm on the girl. Directing her away from the ladder and down to ground level, he set her in a chair. He leaned down a bit, gaze going directly to her own. His eyes never once went to the scar.

"Now, honestly, what had gotten in to you?" Cai asked. "You're always difficult, but today you're impossible. What is it, then?"

The book slipped from her fingers as she fumbled for her hat, the small cap slipping off her head and showing the scar in full relief. She had grabbed it and slammed it back onto her skull before she was placed in the chair, fingers sliding over the brim as she tilted it carefully back into place.

Her brown eyes were bright, shinier than usual, as she stared back at him, something within her breaking as she noticed that he hadn't looked-

She looked away from him, decidedly over his left shoulder, to hide the scar properly - just in case - feeling appropraitely naked. No one seemed to be able to read her quite as well as Superboy could, short of Ree, and even that was disconcerting. At least she was used to Ree making her feel-

"What do you think?" She asked, her voice sounding more tired than bitter. Unconsciously she started playing with her fingers, keeping her gaze decidedly away from his.

"Is that it, then?" Cai asked. "Your father told me about your werewolf mishap. Let me see, then." He reached out a hand and gently took her by the chin to turn her head.

"I don't think it's so bad, myself," he said honestly, gaze lingering on the scar only a moment before seeking her eyes again. "But I can see it bothers you. I can teach you a simple vanity charm to hide it, if you like. There also might be a potion that could make it fade."

It was lucky for all involved that the slight uplift in her expression at the mention of her fa- of Carde was subconcious, the way she folded further into herself after a moment. "What did he have to say about it?" She asked, her bitter tone almost completely conceiling the hope rising in the pit of her stomach.

Then she was gazing up at him, her wide bright brown eyes meeting his and locking. Something behind her eyes flickered, tears rising against her will to keep them down. "They won't go away! Perminant, poisonous, they'll be there- forever! I can't ever-" her tears escaped, and suddenly she couldn't breathe, her breath speeding as she found herself in the middle of chaos, everything scattered as her eyes slipped in and out of focus.

"I'll be like- like this forever!" She gasped, trying and failing to breathe. Funny how the world was tilting in all the wrong directions, the colors blending before swirling together. Her heart seemed to be attempting to pound its way out of her chest via her ribcage. Usually, when this had happened - it started once she got in this mindset and thought circles around herself - she found a way to bring herself back, to calm herself, but this time it didn't happen.

This time, she was falling into the black abyss that was panic.

"Only that you did not emerge from the encounter unscathed," Caius replied. "Not unexpected, really. Werewolves are not to be taken lightly. Furthermore, they happen to be toxic to vampires. Everyone is just glad you're alive." The sentiment was perfectly sincere. He had been alarmed when he had heard about the girl's misadventure with a werewolf.

The man took the girl by the chin, meeting her gaze. "Hey!" he spoke firmly, tone sharp to grab her attention. "Breathe. Look at me and just breathe." He waited a moment for her to comply.

"A lot of people are scarred, Karma, inside and out. You don't have to let your scars define you. You are so much more than that, and if people can't see past that, they're not worthy of your regard."

Her eyes searched his for any hint of insincerity, the slightest tell that he was only saying the words she wanted to hear, but she found none. It was a relief. Cai had never lied to her, and she didn't want him to start now.

The girl jolted, her gaze refocusing on his with the suddenness of a whip crack. Rather than listen, her breath halted all together, her heartbeat stuttering to a slight discord before it evened out, and she was breathing again. She blinked rapidly, forcing the panic away, forcing it out of her system. "But what if-" Her voice broke, her head ducking as not to have to meet his eyes again, afraid of the admittance slipping through her lips. "What if the one's I thought I- what if they don't-" Her voice dropped lower, her shoulders sinking inward as she tried to hide from the idea that had plagued her into hiding all along. "What if they don't-"

That sort of insecurity was not alien to Caius. He had known he could depend on his family no matter what, of course, but other people? Others tended only to see the secondborn of Aeolus and Claudia Raske. Others were so much more likely to judge him uncharitably.

Caius lifted her chin, trying to catch her eyes with his own once more.

"Then you find those who do," he answered. The man didn't say it would be easy, nor did his tone infuse the words with false hope. He just stated it as it was: achievable.

She swallowed thickly as he tilted her head back up, her eyes so full of tears - tears of sadness, of frustration with herself, of fear - that she could barely see him through all the liquid weakness. Her lower lip trembled, her breath catching in her throat as she tried to say something, anything, a joke that sounded more like herself or an insult or something to do with him being a superhero because a superhero was just what she needed.

No words came.

Instead, she tried to take a deep breath, the whoosh of air hitching in her throat, and she was suddenly hugging him, arms around his middle, sobbing into his shoulder. She'd needed a superhero.

And in flew Superboy.