First Night

Alise held her child for the first time. At first, she was surprised by his weight. Her new born, a not quite plump child, was so much more than she had thought he would be, yet his body was light. The mother hated herself for thinking about this, but the way a living, breathing child sat was so different than her first child. Just the way it's muscles moved in response to hers, even now, as his cries dimmed and he drifted off to sleep with his face buried in her chest, Ezra Rusnak was utterly alive.

They sat, together, quiet. The woman ran her fingers through his dusty red crop of hair, down to his warm, pudgy face. Her son was so beautiful, incredibly so. Alise could see herself in him, she could see Sacha, and Matthew, and traits she couldn't place. If Sacha was here, she doubted she'd let him hold his son for long; Alise fear she was already addicted to her child.

Closing her eyes, Alise took a deep sigh. Sacha. He should have been informed. He should have been here. As much as Alise hated to admit it, the man was her life, her husband, the father of her child. It was lonely here, without someone to share the moment with. Maybe, just maybe, when she returned home, she'd write an owl so she could see her favorite red heads together.

"Ms. Alise? Are you alright?"

Alise looked up at the healer, furrowing her brow in confusion. The healer gave a knowing smile, shaking her head as if she had seen this all before. "You're crying, Ms. Alise,"

The Czech woman raised a hand to her cheek, touching the warm liquid on her cheek. "Oh, I guess I am," she whispered, glancing down at her son, "I'm just happy, I guess,"

Technically, it was against hospital policy for Sacha to loiter outside the door. Were he not rather proficient with disillusionment charms, someone would have no doubt noticed him and made him leave - to go to the waiting room, if nothing else. But already he was outside the door; already, he stood much too far away.

Granted, he wasn't supposed to know to be at the hospital in the first place. He'd certainly never been properly informed by the patient. Not intentionally, in any case. Alise had not recognized him when he'd been de-aged, after all.

He would leave - just as soon as he was certain mother and child were all right. Sacha... did not wish to presume that his presence would be welcome. Part of him thought that perhaps it would be, but that part proved insufficient to overcome his uncertainty on the matter.

A smile had claimed his features, joyful and relieved when the wail of an infant could finally be heard. Which was it? A girl? A boy? It did not matter. Any child of Alise would be perfect.

The man waited a seemingly interminable stretch of time before the healer finally departed the room and it was empty of all hospital personnel. For a moment, he held his quiet vigil, standing beside the door like a hired guard. Then, after a flash of indecision, he turned to quietly enter the room. He only wanted to be certain they were well, to see them with his own eyes. Surely, there could be no harm in that?

Pausing just within the doorway, Sacha let the last vestiges of the disillusionment spell fade. A curtain blocked his view of half the room, preventing his gaze from falling upon the woman he loved and her child. That would not do. He moved forward with light tread, intent on seeing them both before he would depart.

It was quiet in room. Perhaps they were both asleep. If they weren't... well, frankly, Sacha didn't have a course of action in such an event.

Alise had drifted off to sleep, her child nestled in the crib at the end of the bed. Her body had more or less given up after going through labor, so the sleep was more than welcome. The new mother lay there, breathing quietly, as if not to wake Ezra.

The boy, however, did not need to be prompted into crying. At the click of the door's lock, he gazed around the ceiling, only to realize how big and cold this new world was. The baby whimpered for a moment, then howled mournfully for the arms of an adult.

Dazed, Alise shot up from the bed and padded towards her child. The woman picked her child up gingerly, cooing protectively. "What's the matter, cutie? Have a bad dream?" Running her fingers through his little tuff of hair as the wailing grew louder, Alise couldn't help but smile, "It's alright, Ezra. Momma's here. I'll watch out for you,"

As she began to shuffle about, hoping to lull the boy to sleep, Alise just could shake the feel of someone else in the room. Thinking to was just a nurse or something, Alise shook off the feeling. "Come on, love. Be quiet for Momma. There, that's better. Everything's better when you're sleeping, right?"

She tiptoed over to the bed, placing herself gingerly on the edge. Placing a wet kiss on the baby's forehead, Alise whispered, "You're Daddy would be so happy to see you,"

Sacha had frozen in surprise and another emotion he couldn't quite identify as the child began to cry. He was chagrined to have woken him. Before he could venture further forward, Alise had risen to scoop the babe up into her arms and Sacha was frozen from a different reason.

He had missed her voice.

His breath caught in his throat even as his heart stuttered in his chest. After a moment, he found himself able to move and breathe again. Slowly, he walked forward, moving until he could easily see and be seen around the curtain.

Moisture rose to his eyes as he simply took the scene in for a moment, a tender smile pulling at his lips. "Hello, Alise," he said softly.

It was a strange thing, love. Love was the thing that brought her here, that brought her their child. It was the thing that hurt in the middle of the night and that bubbled inside her when being held. And, she realized, as she turned to face the man, it was the thing she had been missing for all these months.

She always knew he would find out somehow. It was Sacha, for Merlin's sake; he knew everything. She had been preparing for his arrival for months now, but, somehow, she forgot all plans she ever created.

Her green eyes met his for a long moment. She was already on the brink of crying, a mixture of gaiety and guilt filling her throat. She wanted to apologize, beg for forgiveness for lying to him about this, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything.

"Hey, Sacha," she laughed, her voice thin and brittle, "Do you wanna hold him?"

That was the only thing she could offer in this moment.

At her invitation, Sacha moved over to her, but he did not immediately reach for the child. Instead, he gently raised a hand to caress the side of her face as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. In that single action, he made a lie out of all the things he had said in Rusnak cabin months before.

"I'm sorry I'm late," he told her. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you, was spoken by his expression.

He seated himself beside her on the edge of the mattress, moist grey eyes still drinking in her features. Finally, he tore his gaze away to peer down at the bundle in her arms, smile widening warmly as tears finally escaped his eyes. A son. He and Alise had a son.

"I would love to hold him," Sacha finally answered, voice thick with emotion. "Very much so."

Alise leaned into her kiss, closing her eyes for the brief contact. Even as her ex husband pulled away, she could feel his lips against her skin- hot and longing. The woman longed for his touch again, forgetting how long she had gone without it.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," she replied, her own voice broken. Tears were dripping off her chin onto the bundle of blankets in her arms, but the mother refused to make a sound.

"Hold your arms like this, here. Make sure to support his head- he can't support himself yet," she commanded quietly, placing the baby in the crook of Sacha's arms. She placed a delicate kiss on his shoulder, her own body shaking.

"His name's Ezra. Ezra Rusnak. I didn't think of a middle name," she hiccupped, trying to hide her tears, "I guess I wasn't complete enough to think of one without you,"

"I understand why you didn't," Sacha replied, brushing her tears away with his fingertips even while ignoring his own. He obediently followed her commands as she settled their child in his arms.

"Hello, Ezra," he murmured to the child. "It's Papa. Momma's right - Papa is very happy to see you."

Making sure his son was settled securely in one arm, Sacha wrapped the other around Alise's waist and pulled her against him. "It is a very fine name, Alise," the man spoke soothingly, pressing his lips against her cheek before resting his forehead against her temple. "I don't have a middle name, either. If you'd like, we can think of one together. I'm here, now...

"I behaved like an idiot," Sacha admitted quietly, "and you deserve know why."

Alise wrapped her arms around his torso in response, watching her child with ever so careful eyes. Wordlessly, she kissed the bridge of his nose before returning to her position.

"Even if you understand, that doesn't mean it's right," she whispered back a bit harshly, pulling him a bit closer. She let the silence hang in the air for a second, admiring Ezra proudly. Despite herself, a smile cracked upon her face. He was so perfect, wasn't he? "Look, Sacha, he has your nose."

"You may have been an idiot," Alise responded, warmth creeping into her voice again. The tears were dying away, dried by his presence. "But, you're my idiot. That's all that matters to me right now. Maybe later we can discuss it, but... don't ruin the moment. I'm too tired for this,"

"Consider that I have recently been less than forthright with you as well and we'll consider us even," Sacha said, the slight curve of his lips indicating that he would confess to what it was if she asked.

His own eyes made their own careful study of their son. Words could not express how he felt: pride, joy, relief, love, and a pained twinge in the corner of his heart where an unnamed child would always reside, never to be forgot. "And he has your eyes," he replied warmly. He pressed a kiss to her temple. "He's perfect, Alise. Beautiful and perfect."

"Fair enough," Sacha agreed, "we shall save it for another time. To know that you still consider me yours - it is more than I had hoped; more than I deserve.

"I love you, Alise, for no reason more than you are the very core of my being; my magic, my soul, my beating heart - it is you. Somehow, I had made you believe otherwise. Never again. I will spend the rest of my life ensuring you can never believe otherwise again.

"I love you - and I always will."

The new mother leaned against her ex-husband's shoulder, a benign look in her eyes. Her body was tired- more tired than she would have liked to admit. Part of her, the place where Sacha had torn her heart, wanted to be defensive and imprudent towards the man, but the other part of her felt a deep repose around him.

"Of course he's perfect," she boasted into his shoulder, "Our son can only be perfect," She took the sleeping child's delicate hand in hers and smiled at his tiny crop of reddish brown hair, "My little pumpkin,"

Alise looked up at her husband through her lashes, lips parted in surprise. After a moment in stillness, she shifted toward the highmaster and placed her lips against his. She stayed there for a second, then leaned away. "Don't say things like that," she scolded, "Don't say things you can't live up to, Sacha. Love is hard, I know. I don't want you to say these things just for our child." She paused, sniffling a bit into her sleeve, "Don't say things that will make me cry.