Something's On My Mind

James walked out across the grass, towards the lake, with his hands in his pockets. There was so much on his mind, but none of it was really important. I mean, other than school work of course, but none of his thoughts seemed to involve people.

Despite being a fourth year, he barely knew many people, but he knew if he gave it time, people would come to him and he would be open to them.

I mean he wasn't a shy person, but the past few years, made him think otherwise. He hoped he would make new friends, maybe even have a girlfriend one day.

Fourteen wasn't too young to have a girlfriend, was it? "No, not at all." he muttered to himself as he stopped by the edge of the lake, watching the water slosh up to the shore.

"Plenty of fourteen year olds had girlfriends." he said quietly. Surprised with his sudden interest in having a girlfriend, he felt his cheeks flush. He was embarassed by the very thought...what did that say about him?

"Nothing, it means nothing." he said closing his eyes, and rubbing his face, trying to make the redness, he knew was there, disappear. Looking back up, he stared at the glittering water and tried to clear his head.

His ears suddenly perked up when he heard footsteps approach him.

Casey walked to the Lake, not really paying attention to where she was going and humming a Muggle song under her breath. Her eyes were half closed and she was smiling softly to herself. She did a light hop-skip to the left, then one to the right, then laughed and twirled. She felt free today and it was a welcome release from the flood of dour emotions she'd been faced with recently.

Casey opened her eyes fully and realized that about 30 feet away, there was a boy her age standing, looking out at the Lake. She walked over to him and was intrigued to find that he was a little embarrassed. She wondered what he was thinking, but didn't ask. "Hi, I'm Casey," she said, walking up to him. "It's beautiful today, isn't it?" she asked, grinning broadly.

When James turned his head around to find a young girl, about his age, speaking to him, he felt his cheeks grow even hotter. Mostly because it was ironic that he had just been thinking about girls, but also because she was fairly pretty.

"H-" he began but stopped, cleared his throat and tried again. "Hi, James, uh..James Nickelson." he said holding out his hand, which he found to be shaking slightly.

"Yeah, it's surprisingly nice out." he said agreeing to her obvservation about the weather He had to agree, it was decent outside...for a change.

"What brings you out here?" he asked turning himself so that he was facing Casey.

Casey laughed. "Bit embarrassed?" she asked, grinning. Her eyes were sparkling with fun, not ridicule and she was only teasing lightly.

Casey grinned at his nervousness. "I don't bite James." She took his hand and shook it, ignoring the shaking. "It's nice to meet you."

Casey shrugged. "I don't really know why I'm out. It was just so nice that I couldn't stay inside. Besides, I love the Lake. It's tied with the Quidditch Pitch as my favorite place. Although I like the Forest too... I can't really pick a favorite place I guess."

Casey looked at him. He was cute, she couldn't deny, and nice. But Liam, she reminded herself. Liam's gone, another part of her argued. He left you, remember? She didn't know what to do.

James was caught off guard by her question. "Umm, well, it's just not a lot of people talk to me, so it's strange for me when people do. Don't get me wrong, I like people...in general, but usually I have to go to them in order to get noticed." he explained looking down at the ground.

"So, I guess it's a nice change for someone to actually come up and talk to me." He said looking back up at her, and smiling a little bit.

"Oh, aahha." he laughed awkwardly at her comment. "It's nice to meet you too." he said smiling wider, and starting to feel a little less awkward about the situation.

She seemed genuinely nice, and James liked that about people. When Casey said she couldn't make up her mind about her favourite place, James laughed a little bit. Not a mean laugh, it was just a small chuckle.

"Yeah, I can't make my mind up either. One day, I like the Forest, the next day it could be the lake, sometimes it could just be the Common Room, even though it's not outside, and underwater." he said laughing.

He noticed that her face fell a little bit as she looked at him. 'What could possibly make this lovely young person, so sad?' he thought to himself. He didn't want to ask about it, in case it was something personal that would make her run off and never speak to him again.

Casey shrugged. "I don't know, I notice things and people that others don't. It's a thing for me, I always have and probably always will. It's a shame that more people don't talk to you. You're really nice." She smiled at him.

Casey grinned and curved her fingers into claws. "Rawr," she teased lightly. "I'm a dinosaur."

Casey laughed along with James. "A man after my own heart," she said. "That's exactly how I feel about it too."

Casey noticed him notice her face fall and put on a smile again. "Intnal debate," she answered his unasked question.

"Ah, I see... there's nothing wrong with that, by the way. And thanks. That means a lot. You're very nice too." he said smiling brightly. He was sure that was the first time someone had told him that, aside from maybe two other people he knew when he was a child, but other than that...

"Ah, yes, internally debating. Happens to me a lot, I find. I hope you're ok." he said genuinely. He hoped he didn't sound too nosy, but he really did hope that she was ok.

"If it helps, I mean I know we just met, but if you ever need anything, you can always ask." he said smiling down at her.

Casey grinned. "Yeah. I wouldn't. Care even if people did think it was weird. I have a tendency not to. Not care what other people think I mean. I just... never really did. It's so much easier not to. I am glad you think I'm nice though. I do like when people like me." She smiled. "That makes things easier too. And more enjoyable."

Casey cocked her head to the side, looking at him thoughtfully. Her purple eyes gleamed as she gave him a gentle, quizzical little smile. "You genuinely care. It's not just conversation to you. I like that. It's... refreshing in a way. Others care so little, it's rare to meet someone who cares for a person they've just met." She shook her head. "Sorry, I'm talking old fashioned again, aren't I? I read a lot, my sister always told me that I picked up an old fashioned sort of language that normal people don't speak."

Casey gave him a hug, even though she'd just met him. "Thanks," she said simply. "I think I will."

James smiled back at Casey when she grinned. "I think it's wonderful that you don't care what people think. I mean that in a good way." he said quickly in case she took it the wrong way. "I mean, it's very true, when you don't care what people think, you can be who you are, and not have to hide behind an image that isn't real." he said.

He really meant what he said too. James was never one to lie, unless it saved his ass from getting in trouble. However, here, he saw no reason to lie. "And you are certainly nice enough." he said smiling wider.

James blushed slightly at her words. "I do care, I mean, for most people. I see no reason to truly hate someone, especially if you don't know them. 'Don't judge a book by it's cover.' right?" he quoted.

Shaking his head slightly, he said, "Don't worry about it. I don't mind old fashioned. My parents are like that a lot, so I don't mind." he said chuckling.

James was slightly surprised when she hugged him, but he didn't back away. Instead he carefully wrapped his arms around her shoulders in return. "I like to help people." he said.

Casey tilted her head to the side. "How could that be taken in a bad way?" she asked. "It was a compliment and I thank you for it." She smiled. "Exactly. That's why I love doing it. Who I am can't be easily hidden anyway. I'm a pretty loud, outgoing person. Life is more fun that way."

Casey grinned. He was a very genuine, friendly person and she liked that. "Thank you. I think you're really nice too."

Casey smiled. "You're blushing again," she informed him. "It's great that you care. Like I said, it's not exactly common, so it's really great when you find someone."

Casey grinned. "That's good. I drift in and out of it, depending on my mood at the moment."

Casey smiled when he hugged her back, then pulled away smiling. "I believe it. And I think I will tell you things. Just later. My life is a little screwed up right now and I won't ruin this conversation because I'm really enjoying it."

James shook his head, not really knowing how it could be an insult. "I don't know...sorry." he said feeling a little embarassed. "But you're welcome." he said smiling. He found he was smiling a lot during this conversation. He didn't mind of course, it's just it's been a while since he smiled with someone. "I'm glad you like being you. I like being me, too." he said laughing.

"Thanks." James said gratefully. He was really happy that she thought he was nice. He certainly thought she was nice, obviously, he had told her.

James eyes widened slightly when he realized she noticed him blushing. Reaching his hands up to his face he started to rub his cheeks lightly, trying to get rid of the red. "Yeah...ahah. I do that a lot, and it happens easily." he said putting his hands down again.

"I totally know what you mean. You never know if someone really cares about you, or things you say. I mean, unless you just sort of...feel it." he said his thoughts drifting slightly.

His shoulders moved up and down as he chuckled lightly. "I think old fashioned is great."

"I understand." he replied as Casey pulled out of the hug. "I'm not going to ever push you or anyone else into telling me things they don't want to or aren't ready to say yet." he said wholeheartedly.

He had seen people who were like that. Always pressuring others into telling them secrets, only to spread rumours around that weren't true.

Casey grinned. "And now why are you apologizing for complimenting me? I'll never understand boys," she teased gently. She laughed. "It's a good thing we like being us cause I don't know about you, but I'm kind of stuck this way."

Casey smiled and pulled his hands down. "It's ok, I do too. I'll even tell you a secret- when I'm really embarrassed, I cry. Which makes me more embarrassed and then everything just spirals out of control and I can't stop for like half an hour." She shrugged. Now her cheeks were faintly pink. "My body's weird like that."

Casey shrugged. "I don't know, I'm fairly intuitive. I can usually tell when people truly care..." she trailed off. Reading emotions did tend to give you an edge with that kind of stuff. "Can I tell you something? Something about me? And you promise not to hate me or be afraid of me or anything?"

Casey smiled. "Old fashioned is great. Sometimes it just has better language to say what you want to say."

She smiled. "Thanks. And I will tell you, one day. I just don't want to dump it on you all at once, cause that would kinda suck. A lot. And that's just one more reason for me to like you, for not pressuring me."

Laughing, James nodded. "Yeah, I guess I am. Again, sorry. I have a tendency to apologize a lot for no reason. Yes, us guys can be pretty complicated." he said shaking his head lightly, while still laughing. "I agree, I think I'm stuck this way too."

"Don't worry! Everybody's is different, and that's what makes the world so much better." he said as she pulled his hands away from his face. "Hey, now you're blushing!" he teased lightly, not trying to be mean. He never meant to be mean to people.

James cocked his head to the side. "I wouldn't hate you, no matter what you tell me." he said smiling. "I don't think you're the hateable type of person."

"Aha. Now that I really do agree on." he said, eyes twinkling as he smiled.

Nodding, and sticking his cold hands in his pockets again, he said, "Don't worry, I understand. Perhaps one day when we know each other better. And thanks." Smiling he shrugged his shoulders. "You want to walk around a bit?" he asked.

Not that he didn't like standing around, it's just that his feet were starting to hurt from standing for so long.

Casey giggled. "I have a tendency not to apologize as often as I should, so we're even." She smiled. "I'm glad someone agrees with me. Girls are complicated too though, so I guess I can't talk. We are very temperamental sometimes. With the emphasis on mental."

Casey grinned. "I know, that's what makes life so great! It would be boring any other way." Her blush darkened. "Yeah, I know. I can feel it," she murmmered.

Casey looked down. She still had a hard time trusting people with this. "There's this... power that I have. A blessing and a curse. I'm an Empath. I see colors on the edge of my vision that correspond to people's emotions." She blushed. "I know what you feel right now. I could influence it if I wanted to, but I don't usually do that. Only if people are upset or in pain." She looked up at him, pleading in her eyes. "People don't usually think before they judge me, they just say I'm a freak or they're afraid of what I'd do to them if they get me mad. That's why I try so hard not to get mad. Cause I'm afraid too. They don't realize that too many people together overwhelm my vision or that sometimes I can't tell what I'm feeling and what other people are feeling or that I get massive headaches and sometimes I pass out after messing with emotions." She kicked at the dirt. "So don't hate me for what I can't help."

Casey smile and nodded. "Walking would be nice. There's so much lake we can't see from here, so many angles we haven't been able to perceive. So yeah, walking would be nice." She started off in a random direction.

James smiled at her giggle. "Yes, I guess that does make us even." he said smiling and nodding a little. "Haha, I will agree that girls are quite complicated, but what can you do? I guess we are all a bit compicated, and mental as you say." he said chuckling.

James just grinned broadly and nodded in definite agreement. "Don't worry about it, everybody blushes. And I'm proof that guys do it too, not just girls."

James listened intently, with the utmost interest of Casey's gift. It sounded just like she said, a gift, but also a curse. He couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like to know what everyone around him was feeling, and he supposed in some cases, more than one person at a time. Oddly enough James wasn't angry, or scared, and when she mentioned people calling her a freak, he was surprised.

"I don't think you're a freak, Casey. I think it's actually really cool, a little strange if you want me to be honest, but not strange enough to call you a freak." he said lightly touching her shoulder.

"You can't help what you're born with, right? You can't help your gifts. And to be honest, I'm not afraid of you either. You told me the truth, first hand. If someone else had told me, it might be different, because I haven't spoken to you like I have been. I won't say I know you, like I know my family, but I think I know you to an extent that I know you wouldn't hurt someone on purpose." he said giving her a small smile of re-assurance.

"Don't let other people bring you down, most of them don't know you or even share the same gifts as you to understand what you're going through." he said trying to comfort her.

Laughing as Casey wandered off in a random direction, James walked after her, hoping she'd lead the way.

Casey smiled, then realized that she had been smiling a lot this conversation. She liked that. She chuckled. "I always hear guys complaining about how they can't figure us out and it's probably because we just over analyze everything and blow little things way out of proportion. So then we seem upset for no reason."

Casey grinning. "It is reassuring to know that everyone does. Or at least most people do. That's nice." She smiled at him, ducking her head.

Casey looked up at him, grinning slowly. "You really don't hate me? Thank you." She hugged him again. "People have hated me for it before." She pulled back and rolled up her sleeve on her left arm. She ran a finger up a scar on her fore arm. "That one's from a wall I got shoved into at Salem." She touched a small scar on her left cheek. "This one's from a knife. It was bad at my American school."

Casey bowed her head. "Thank you. Thank you for understanding. I still can't believe that people trust me here. They hated me at Salem."

Casey smiled and let his word comfort her. "I'm glad you see it that way. It's still amazing every time."

Casey called over her shoulder, "I hope you know where I'm going, because I don't."

James couldn't help but laugh a little at this fact. "It does seem that way sometimes." Shrugging his shoulders, he said, "But I think for us, the reason we seem so complicated, is because we never seem to make up our minds about anything. And we always just do stuff for no reason."

James smiled, again, and just said simply, "We're only human. And even for those who aren't they still have different qualities, that they all share. If that makes sense." he said knotting his eyebrows together, trying to see if what he said, came out right.

James nodded, when Casey asked him for re-assurance that he didn't hate her. This time, though still slightly unprepared for the hug, he hugged her back immediately, instead of waiting a moment, before making sure it was ok, like last time. When she pulled away, and rolled up her sleeve to reveal a long scar on her forearm, James couldn't help but gasp.

"Oh my god." he said, eyes widening. Then when she revealed another scar, his eyes widened even more, and he began to feel slightly angry at the students who did this to her. "They did this, juse because you have a gift?" he asked in disbelief. "That's awful! Casey, I'm so sorry you had to go through that." he said being completely honest. He still couldn't fathom why anyone would do that to her.

"People trust you here, probably because they're more accepting of people who are different. I mean we have so many different people here. Vampires, half vampires, and all sorts of others." he said using hand gestures. "And probably because they know you're a good person."

Chuckling, James said, "I try to see everything in a positive light."

Letting out a laugh, a real full out laugh, James caught up with Casey and walked by her side. "Well, I don't know, but what the heck. Some days we don't need to know where we're going."

Casey shrugged. "Seems like as good an explanation as any. I'm just going to accept the fact that I'm never going to fully understand the opposite sex and move on. No matter how many times I think I've figured you out, someone proves me wrong. It's rather annoying."

Casey nodded. "Yeah, I get what you're trying to say. Vampires have shared characteristics, werewolves do, the fey do, and so on and so on. It's still reassuring."

Casey closed her eyes and let him arms around her comfort her. For one second, she felt like a small child again, being comforted by someone older and wiser, who knew what they were doing. It felt good, but it was still a boy her age when she opened her eyes.

Casey looked away. "Yeah. I'm sorry too. So you can see why I'm still kind of hesitant to tell people. They hated me for no reason. They were much older than me and they thought I'd be easy to play with. They were right. I couldn't stop my anger and they were all teacher's favorites, so they got away with it."

Casey nodded. "Probably. I still like it here. It's my refuge from hate and prejudice and all the crap I left behind in Massachusetts. It heals me here." She smiled at him. "Thanks, I'm glad you think so."

Casey grinned at him. "I'm glad you do. I try too, but sometimes it's just so hard. I hate that it has to be so hard sometimes."

Casey grinned and laughed, throwing her head back. Her hair flowed out behind her and her eyes sparkled. Even though she didn't know it, in that moment, she was extremely beautiful. "I'm happy that you see it that way because that's basically how I live my life." They seemed to be heading off around the lake, between the water and the forest. "Whatever catches my eye calls me on a new path."

"Yeah, I tend to do that too. I'll never understand girls, well, maybe to some extent, depending on what girls have told me in the past." he said shrugging as well.

James smiled a little, glad she understood what he was trying to say and didn't take in a bad way, though, he didn't know how it could be taken badly.

James still couldn't believe that someone or anyone would want to hurt Casey. She was such a nice girl, he couldn't see what anyone had against her. "That's not fair. That they got away with that just because the teachers favoured them." he said shaking his head.

James looked around at the school, the grounds and just everything around them. "This is the best place in the world, well to me. But I'm sure to you too, to some extent." he said smiling down at her. "I do think so." he said nodding.

"Yeah, I know what you mean." James said nodding, again.

Casey's laugh seemed to be contagious, because James couldn't help but laugh along as well. As she ran, with her hair flying behind her, and the sun on her face, James couldn't help but think that she looked quite beautiful. "Fine with me!" he called to her. "As long as we don't get lost." he said jokingly.

Casey laughed. "Well it's officially mutual then. People are confusing. End of story."

Casey shrugged. "I know it and you know and they knew it. Heck, I'm sure I the teachers knew it too. Didn't stop it from happening. Didn't stop them from wrecking my life." She shrugged. "Sometimes, you can't help it and you definitely can't control what other people do. So I just lived through it."

Casey smiled. "This is the best place in the world. I'll miss it so much when I graduate. I might just have to come back and teach here. Then I could come back for years and years." She smiled at the thought. "That would be wonderful."

Casey laughed harder. "We won't get lost, I know what I'm doing... Mostly." She bent down and took off her shoes, dropping them where she could find them again, then danced closer to him and touched him on the shoulder. "Tag, you're it!" The. She took off running, her bare feet hardly touching the ground as she flew along. She was extraordinarily fast and she laughed as she ran.

Laughing along, James nodded in agreement. "End of story."

Despite Casey's seemingly calm take on this, James said, "Still, I think it's terrible you had to go through that. But always remember, the past is in the past, though it's not easy to forget. There is always room to start over in the future." he said hoping his words would help her feel better.

"That would be wonderful!" James said happily. "I don't really know what I want to be yet, maybe an artist, though I don't think that's a wizard profession." he said shrugging.

James watched and laughed as she took off her shoes and poked him calling for a game of tag. He quickly bent over, pulled off his shoes and socks and took off after her, laughing as he did so.

He hadn't felt like this in the longest time. The feeling of being free, of being a child again. He didn't even care what people thought if they saw him running after her like a lunatic. For the first time in a long time, James felt happy.

James ran and ran, trying to catch up to her, but boy was she fast. When he thought he was close enough, he reached out his arm and tried to poke her shoulder and call her 'it', but she easily moved out of his way.

Casey knew she seemed very calm about everything that happened, but the truth was, she still had nightmares on the bad days. She took a deep breath. "Yeah, tell me about it, I can still remember all the details about everything. I've been trying to just leave it out of my life here."

Casey nodded. "My first hope is to play professional Quidditch as a Chaser. I'm pretty good too. But after I retire from that, I think I'll. One teach something here. Maybe Charms or Transfig. And as to being an artist, who do you think painted the moving portraits? I think it can be a wizard's profession and I think it's a great dream."

Casey could see how happy James was and it made her smile. She loved to make other people happy, not in the least because the color was a beautiful aquamarine that was her favorite color. She laughed as he repeatedly missed her. "Gotta be faster!" She saw a small cliff coming up and knew it led to a deep part of the lake. She grinned and ran even faster instead of slowing down to stop. She planted her foot and jumped off, yelling "WOOOOO!" as she flipped through the air, slicing through the water in a perfect dive.

Casey swam up to the surface, laughing even more. She flipped her wet hair out of her face, not even caring that her clothes were soaked. "Come on in, the water's fine!" she called.

Nodding, James said, "I think that's good, I mean, not still remembering everything, but that you're trying to leave it behind."

"Wow! That's cool! I think that's great, you'd make a great teacher, and Chaser I'm sure, though I've never seen you play. I love flying, but I'm not the best." he said laughing, remembering the first time he played quidditch at school, he fell off.

"That's true...I guess it's not so far fetched then." he said happily.

James ran as fast as he could when she teased him about having to be faster. When he looked ahead, he could see that there was a cliff, one that led right off into the water, James instantly slowed down, and looked down. There was Casey, laughing and splashing around.

Shaking his head, he couldn't resist her request to jump in after her. So, in a swift movement, he jumped, feet first in after her.

James realized Casey was right about the water, it was indeed quite nice. Swimming over to her, he poked her shoulder and said, "You're it." then laughed.

Casey put on a brave smile. "Yeah, I can't really do much else, can I? If I let myself get hung up on this one thing, I'll never go on and live my life the way it was meant to be lived- with full participation."

Casey grinned. "I love flying. I could fly almost before I could walk. My dad jokes that I was born with a broom in my hand and I'm excellent at flying, no ego involved, just truth. And I like helping people too, so teacher would be a good after-Quidditch career option."

Casey's smile grew as hope blossomed in James's eyes. "See? You can do this, you can do wahtever you want with your life. It'll be ecxellent."

Casey grinned, turning in the water as James sailed over her head to land with a splash. She laughed when he tagged her, diving underwater and grabbing his feet, spinning him around. She resurfaced a few feet away, grinning impishly. "Who's it now, huh?"

James nodded in mutual agreement. "That's grown up of you. And that's true, if you hold back on the wonderful opportunities because of one thing, then you sort of...miss out. That's how I would put it..." he said smiling.

James smiled in amazement. "Wow, you must really be able to fly. I'd love to see you in action." he said laughing. "Maybe one day, we could fly around the pitch, play a game, or something?" he suggested. "I really think you'd be a great teacher, at least from what I know about you."

He knew Casey spotted the dreamy sort of hope that he felt, through his eyes when he looked down at her, and he just sort of smiled like a lunatic. "Thanks, for believing." he said honestly.

James played along when she pulled him under the water and called him as 'it' again. Laughing as he swam after her, he reached out and caught her wrist gently, saying, "YOU are it." he said jokingly.

Catching his breath from laughing, he turned himself over so that he was floating on his back and stared at the sky.