Thoughts i keep to myself

Dear Diary,

Its been a while since i've wrote in you. The last time i did was before my freak out. Since then, Reena and I lived with her friend Samuel Addams. He was really nice to us, but he's dead now. The house elf of his estate said he went out one night and never came back. I cant remember whether i saw him leave or not... I miss him; well, i miss what i remember of him. I dont remember much but i think i remember more that Reena does. She hasnt been sleeping lately. Shes been having nightmares since he died.
I like this house, its away from everyone and i can do whatever i want to all day, but Reena thinks its time to move on for a bit. She can never seem to stay in the one place for too long, but i dont wanna tell her im sick of all the travelling; i'd like to have a fixed home for once and im happy here. I'm good friends with the house elf Shyler and this is one of the only places i feel safe.
Oh well. Im just hoping that wherever we go to next, people might actually like me for a change, and nothing bad happens to us. I've gotten used to being lonely except for Reena, Shyler and Myuki, but I guess Reena wants to rediscover herself. She's lost interest painting and composing lately so i dunno maybe this will help her. I'll take care of her anyway, just like shes been taking care of me. One friend. Thats all im hoping for, is that i find one friend, maybe a friend who has a friend for Myuki.

Well, i'd better go pack and help Reena with dinner and then practice my archery just in case. I'll take you with me to wherever it is we go and not keep you at the bottom of the trunk this time. You've got a lot of pictures and memorie and drawings in here that i like to look back on. I'll have more things to add to you soon, but until then, goodnight x

Dear Diary,

Me again x I told you i wouldnt leave you at the bottom of my trunk and forget about you didnt i?
Ive been thinking about things alot lately. Mostly about Leo. He did do much for us. He even died for us. Twice, if you count his doppleganger he made - S.Addams - to watch over Reena. Ive been hinking about him because since coming to this new place i found a friend in this girl, and he sort of came up and it reminded me how much i miss him. He may have tried to kill me once, but i was asking for it at the time. Thankfully, ive only let my anger get the best of me once seeing an old familiar face, so the demon in me is still under control. I might use the time turner again you know. I wish i could go back and change so many things.. but i know thats not allowed...

So far, no dangers, but saying that ive not ventured far. I wanna try to keep a low profile. Reena's trying to do the same, which is why shes only working in places part time so she cant become too familiar. Thankfully, no-body remembers me except Volkov... Ive never forgiven him and im not sure i ever will.

What else... oh yea, i fell and hurt myself in a derilict building but im nearly healed now and iv managed to hide it from Reena. And ive learnt to control my wolf transformations much better now. I can do it almost instantly with little thought or need to be angry or scared so thats sometihng right? Im glad ive not been asked to enroll in the schools, im quite happy teaching myself thank you.

Im going to have to come clean to Reena soon about everything... Im dreading it... I might just let the time turner do the talking for me, becuase their are some things... you simply have to witness.

Well, theres not much else to say, so until i have some more news to tell you, i bid you goodnight xx

Hello again Diary,

Sorry you've been living at the bottom of my travel bag for a while, I guess I've just not been in the frame of mind for writing lately.
I've not seen that girl from the ice cream place since but I bumped into this girl in the forest recently who seemed cool. I've been living in the forest for a while now ever since Volkov appeared and I ended up blurting some stuff out to Reena. God I hate him!

Well, I've ran away again. It's just you and me now. Last night I had a fight with Reena; I cant be around her any more; we're just too different and she makes me angry, so it's back to solitude. I didnt show her stuff using the timeturner afterall; i dont think i'm that cruel just yet. I feel like theres a darkness around me though; like somethings about to happen and its going to change me... I guess we'll have to wait and see.

I've had chance to explore the forest a bit more though; got attacked by some things but i'm still alive so fmeh. I'm not quite sure what to do with myself... I'm not going to ask anyone for help; i'll have to just toughen up and find my own way of getting money and food until i can get back to Yorkshire. I've really been missing Shyler, and the gardens, and my old room...

You know, i cant help but laugh to myself. If anyone ever found you after i died, they'd probably think I was mental! Well, i'm gonna go think about some things i guess or go on the hunt for some food, so until next time, goodnight x

Hey Diary,

Remember a couple of days ago when I said i've been in a bad frame of mind and pople would probabaly think i was mental? Well i think i am; i cant stop crying, or getting really angry at nothing, or freaking out and hallucinating. What the feck is happening to me?! Am i really turning into a monster?, is this my body just reacting to something going on? Leo would know...why did he have to be taken from me?!

Still no luck finding a way back to Yorkshire, i've tried just hopping the trains but the conductor isnt daft so ive got know chance of sneaking on unseen.

I swear im on the brink of a nervous breakdown; i feel like killing someone again... You should see what ive been doing to myself in my sleep.. ive been pulling my hair out and clawing at myself; all the blood could attract something. Im in a real bad way but im not going back to Reena, i've got to figure this out on my own somehow.

Thanks for listening; i just wish you could give me some feedback too. Night x