leave my body

Lena hated feeling like this. She hated feeling so out of place with everyone and everything around her. Sure, she knew around six people that didn't hate her, but she wasn't close with half of them, one of them was in Beauxbatons, one (as much as she loved him) just couldn't talk, and one was held back a year so she couldn't talk to her in class and that means alone time between cut them was extremely severed.

Oh, the joys of being alone.

Lena thumbed through the records until she found an old Eurovision entry from Albania, way before any of her siblings were born. She laughed when she saw the title. Suus. Latin for personal. Merlin, when was the last time she had listened to this song? It had always made her so powerful, and so personal.

She needed that feeling if she was going to feel any better.

It was as if it was the year prior had never happened when Anya had found herself at Simphonia. Well, she was clearly aware that she was in Russia and not in England but the shop was originally branched from the original store. The one where everyone was okay with eachother and things weren't at odds. It was when she had Lena as a best friend, where Anya's rage, angst and insomnia didn't exist and when all the Seven Devils were well with each other.

But that was a year ago.

And a year later, the one right now, she wasn't Lena's best friend anymore.

Flipping through some CD's that album cover's had caught her interest, she had decided in getting a new music player. After all, the first one she had bought was with Lena and she didn't want those memories while she played some of her favorite music.

As Anya continued her exploration, plucking out the ones from the racks that she had decided on buying, she soon found herself rubbing her neck for being inclined so much. Returning it to it's normal position, she realized she was face to face with the person she didn't want to see.

But the girl had become frozen and couldn't move. A mixture of anger, regret and hurt began to bubble into her mind and heart as she made sure it didn't reach her eyes. She was sure it hadn't; but Lena had known her for many years.

Starting to make her way out of Lena's face, Anya hadn't realized that plastic cd cases that had been piled onto the floor. It was only until she kicked them and they went flying onto the floor did she realize what she had done.

"Sorry!" She manage to yell out to the worker whom had sent her a glare. Getting on her knees, she began to rearrange them, fully knowing that she had probably caught the eye of the Uchitel.

From the corner of her eye, the blonde could roughly see Anya's figure; she knew it too well to mistake it for anyone else. Her lips pressed due to anger, trying her best not to throttle her fellow student. Taking a deep breath, the Uchitel forced herself to calm down and turned back to her music selection. Suus. Right. She was definitely buying that volume, and she thought that she was going to need some more. She needed as much powerful music that she was going to get.

Thumbing through the records, Lena finally found the Iceland entry from the same year. She remembered singing it to Rhys at the Ministry of Magic because she was so damn scared that something was going to happen to him. Nothing life-threatening had, but the threat was still large, no matter how much the Ministry dismissed it.

She decided to add that to her to-buy list, before stumbling upon a copy of one of Apocalyptica's albums. They weren't her favourite band of all time (that title belonged to Haloo Helsinki!, the exclamation mark being a part of their name) but their music always made her feel relieved, somewhat. She put that along with her other CDs.

As she counted up her CDs, the blonde heard Anya's footsteps as she tried to walk away from her, but Lena chose to ignore her. If her ex-best friend wanted to do that to her, so be it. None of Anya's problems were hers anymore, and frankly she liked it that way.

The Uchitel heard a pile of plastic CDs crash onto the ground, and considering the distance and the amount of decibels it made she was sure about who had perpetrated it. A cry of 'Sorry!' confirmed Lena's suspicions. The girl scoffed when she pivoted herself around, placing a confident smirk on her face.

"Fuck, Telsa," the Uchitel cooed, her tone obviously trying to demoralize the Hrabrost, "I never knew your balance was so terrible."

Secretly, she hated being like this, but she had no choice.

As Anya began to stack up the CDs in their proper place, feeling immensely guilty for not noticing in her moment of trying to get away, the shadow of a familiar blonde Uchitel clouded over her. An angry scowl emerged on her face, her blood starting to boil inside her veins and the unfamiliar colour of red in her eyes, did Anya start to see.

Taking a deep breathe and letting it out quietly for Lena not to hear, Anya stood up with a stoic expression on her face. The usual kindness in her eyes void.

The usual bright smile was gone as it had changed from a a scowl back to a bittersweet smile. She had never been this mean or angry before - other than little spat that occurred with Alannah days prior -but somehow, it had come easily to her.

It had scared her but at the moment, she hadn't and didn't pay any attention to it.

"Well shit Vorstenbach," Anya matched her tone, not allowing it to falter. She didn't feel a thing. If Lena should've learned something about her over the years, it should have been that it would take a lot more than simple words to make her feel hurt when someone hated her. At least it was something her parents had done right, molding her into some type of cocoon that only showed it's unharmed outer exterior when hurt.

"I never thought about you turning out to be a two-faced back stabbing whore who kissed their friend's boyfriend," the brunette spat out coldly, "But here we are. It's an odd thing one learns from another when a friendship ends."

The blonde merely rolled her eyes at the girl's reply to her spitfire. So typical, she mused, typical Telsa. Even though it would probably make her look even less sane than she already was, Lena laughed in a hollow fashion as she chanted the incantation in her head. Worst of all, she made no attempt to hold it back. Typical Telsa. Typical Telsa. Typical Telsa...

"God, Telsa," sang the girl, "you're so typical, Typical Telsa." She then shrugged her shoulders as if there was nothing wrong with that at all. "Don't blame me for calling you that, hun," twittered she, "it's not my fault you're so typical when you're convulsed."

Frankly, she was done with the jokes about Frodo. She had kissed him, and she had paid the price. Something the Uchitel had just noticed was that the only people who didn't give a fuck about the kiss was the people that actually performed it: herself and Frodo. She cared too much about him to ever stay away from him that long and not tell him every waking problem she had. She had Rhys, or Tessa, but she didn't want to burden them with her problems.

They were her problems, and her problems alone.

"Oh, I'm a whore now?" scoffed Lena, and as angry as she should be at being called a contumelious name, she wasn't. Perhaps it was just her mind being numb, or it was getting used to being called such offensive names. "It's so nice to add a nickname to my list of nicknames." She breathed normally, though she knew it was so dumb for her to be brought down to Hazelle Bass's level. "Friendships end all the time, Telsa. I'm cool."

"Typical didn't seem to bother you for four years straight, didn't it?" She thought out loud as she placed back one of her CD's into the rack. Anya had decided on buying against it considering it was Amy Winehouse's Best Friend's Right? album. Through out the year, she had become more exposed to the muggle music culture and had found the British born musician's voice and music style appealing.

Anya had found it ironic on how she had stumbled upon the record.

"Of course you are," she replied as nonchalantly as she could. But it was hurting her. Anya's heart couldn't bear it any longer, being mean and angry and quite spiteful to anyone. It took so much out of her but she wasn't going to apologize.

She had set her mind to it and for once in her lifetime, Anya wasn't going to become lenient for Lena.

"Sure friendships end all the time," she said as she picked up another album. "How's Rhys, by the way?"

"Oh, who said it didn't bother me?" snapped the girl, "you know full well that I'm not that terrible when it comes to hiding my emotions." She then tilted her head when she found yet another classic of hers: Bye Bye Beautiful. When the blonde was a child, she had constantly insisted her mother to play it, as it was part of the Vartiainen daughter's childhood. Now, she knew every single word in her head, and it was those words that rang as she picked it up and continued arguing with Anya.

Trying to pacify herself, the Uchitel replied in a half-smiting, half-apathetic drawl, "You are so lucky you don't have a record with boys, minus Yefrem, and he doesn't count 'cause you're dating him." She hated being like this, but if Anya was going to keep this facade up, so was she.

"Rhys is as fine as he can be, and how would I know? He's in your house, not mine," the girl snapped, "and no, 'being his girlfriend' is not an excuse."

"You are when I've known you for some time," she spat back the moment she had finished her sentence. Anya slammed her CD's on top of the others, not caring at all that she would have been yelled at by the owner or the shop keeper of the store. Shit, she hadn't care at all for anything ever since William had strolled up to her that one afternoon and was told she was off to be married.

Her once 'What if I get kicked out of school' and her other 'What if's' had been vanished the moment that had happened. It wasn't because William was to be her husband and made feel protected. Hell, it didn't make her feel hella alot more safe with him around.

But the mere idea that her parents needed this engagement to happen, pretty much protected her from anything terrible happening to her.

If she got kicked out of school - they'd get her a private tutor. She'd get kicked out of a music store - they'd buy her a music store. What if she got kicked out of a book store? The Tesla's would go out and boy her every book known to man.

It was a fact.

A fact that she hated but right now, it made her feel empowered.

"You know what, I'm tired of this shit," Anya said calmly but the way her eyes flashed with anger made it seem more menacing that she had ever before. "You know what, I don't care what you do, I don't care what you say about me and I most certainly don't care if you ever make fun of me. But the moment you even dare lay a finger on Kait, so help me Merlin I will make your life a living hell."

With that, Anya turned on her heel as she began to walk away with her hands clasped behind her back.

"Besides, I've got better shit to do," she yelled, "Like planning my fucking wedding that you're not invited to."