words are sharper than swords

Frodo decided that he needed some kind of distraction and figured he'd go browse the bookstore for a few hours and pick out a couple of his favourite classic books.

As he entered the shop, he noticed that there were hardly any people, though it seemed right, considering the fact most of them would have gone home for the holidays. Either way, he preferred the silence atmosphere as it would help him focus and not rush through the collections.

The Hitrost came across the Muggle authors' section and went through books written by Jules Verne and Charles Dickens. He had already read nearly most of them, and took from the shelf a copy of Great Expectations. So engrossed in his search was he, that the approaching footsteps went by unnoticed.

Books.

Ashleen didn't understand how she ended up in this place. Reading wasn't exactly her thing. It took up too much effort, too much focus. There always seemed to be something more exciting for her to focus on, attemtp to accomplish.

Though accomplish was always a figurative word.

Maybe she'd take up reading. Got to be better than focusing on her own life, right?

As she wandered through the store, she frowned as she ran into someone... a face she figured she should know but the name wasn't quite focusing with the face.

"I know you... don't I?"

Frodo turned around to the sudden voice and let out a sigh. "Oh, hello Ashleen," he greeted the other Hitrost prefect. "Considering the fact that we're the sixth year badge holders in our House, I think you would know me," he commented with a small smile. "I'm Frodo, by the way."

But even so, he had rarely talked to the girl, other than when needed for Prefect duties and things like that. It seemed possible she might have forgotten him, not that he minded in the slightest.

"Are you planning on going home for the holidays?" He enquired, turning back to the shelf and picking out another novel.

"Oh," Ashleen breathed dully, before looking at the boy and shrugging her shoulders. "Right, my bad... suppose I should make an effort to remember that for next time. Only polite, yes?" Not that Ashleen was ever particularily polite, nor did she care about being so.

"Home... relative word don't you think?" the girl's voice was slightly distant as she pulled a novel off the shelf in front of her, frowning at the old paper back, skimming the words with mild interest. "But I suppose, yes, I'm going home for the holidays. I'm not staying here anyways."

The brown haired boy shook his head slightly. "I don't mind if you don't remember or not. It's your wish, I suppose." He really didn't mind, after all, he had bigger things on his mind than to be upset about someone not remembering his name. He noticed that the girl seemed distressed, but figured not to question her.

"Well, I'm currently homeless so yes, I guess it could be a relative word," he muttered with a shrug, placing the book back and taking another one. "Good choice, I wouldn't want to stay here either, but I have no choice. So how's your year been going so far?" Frodo questioned, wanting to change the subject.

"Homeless?" the girl raised her eyebrow, her distracted expresion becoming slightly more focused, "How bleak. Suppose I'd offer you my place, only not really my place to offer, and besides, no offence Hobbit, but you wouldn't last there. Isn't exactly a welcoming fairytale palace."


She shrugged her shoulders, "My years been like most others I suppose. Got strangled by a prof, boyfriend decided to spend three weeks passed out like he was going to die. I've had worse years."

"It's alright, I'll probably find a place by the end of the year or so," Frodo muttered with a shrug of his shoulders as though it wasn't a big deal. He was just sick of being sad about something that wasn't going to change. He was disowned and he just had to deal with it. "Well, as long as the Highmaster doesn't mind, I'll be spending my holidays here."

The Hitrost boy turned to Ashleen, surprise evident on his face. "Strangled by a Professor? Which one? And I'm sorry about your boyfriend; is he fine now?" He asked.

"Kids stay over the holidays all the time," the girl spoke as if this was complete knowledge even though she had hardly been there more than a year and couldn't know for sure, "You'll have time to explore - throw a little drama in those tightly controlled halls."

She rolled her eyes, before shrugging her shoulders at the surprise on his face.

"Pyrrhos, the younger one I think, can't really tell to tell you the truth; Battle stratagies - wasn't amused with my attitude," she shrugged again. In all honesty she was completely over it. In her mind, for the most part, it hadn't even happened. "Yeah... I think so, I mean I hope so. He says he is but... like he'd tell me. Tre would give up his life for mine in a heart beat - he'd certainly lie to stop me from worrying."

"I know they do, but I also hear that it tends to get a little lonely over here sometimes," Frodo remarked. "Then again, I should just be thankful that I have a place to say." He grinned lightly and shook his head at the girl's suggestion. "Being part of the Seven Devils fight is already a lot of drama; especially between Lena and Kait." His grin faded instantly as he said it, and he once again resumed to reading titles on the shelf.

He rubbed the back of his neck absentmindedly. "No matter how many years, I'll still be surprised by how psychotic our Professors seem to be," he muttered. "Well, I do hope he's alright, though I get why he'd lie to you about it." After a few minutes of silence, he commented, "You seemed like you didn't want to come in the bookshop, or maybe I just imagined your expression."

"Seven Devils?" Ashleen raised an eyebrow, unable to keep the amusement out of her voice. "You people name yourselves?"

Others drama was something she actually found she did rather well at keeping herself out of. After all, she was good at sturing up more than enough of her own.

"Yes," she murmured in response to his polite sympathy, "well... his lying doesn't really seem to have done much; I worry anyways. He thinks he can hide it, but I see it there - always do. I know everything about him."

The book felt heavy in her hands as she continued to hold it. Ashleen hardly knew how long she had been reading the back, she still had no idea what it said. She couldn't even tell you what the book was called.

"Its always been me and him you know; we grew up together - or well, I suppose being ten or eleven isn't quite growing up, but to tell you the truth, I can hardly remember a time before. I'm sure there were other children, there were definitly other members - we were always surrounded - but all my memories have one focus... him. I would be absolutely lost without him - I don't even know if I'd be me.

"Maybe I should tell him that more often."

There was a brief silences where Ashleen was slightly horrified that not only had she disclosed all that to a half stranger, but there was a distinct wetness welling up in her eyes.

"Sorry," she gave a laugh, "You don't want to her my ramblings - and here I was just trying to blend in. I suppose that makes me stick out here more than before huh?"

"Well, we were probably only in our second year when we named it, so figured we'd make it stick, even if it does unusual to people," Frodo replied with a sheepish smile and shrugged lightly.

He nodded his head as he read through one of the books and listened to her talk. "Sounds like you two are lucky to have found each other, then," he commented softly.

The Hitrost was surprised at the sudden revelation from Ashleen, but his attention was completely on her. If there was one thing he was quite good at, it was listening to others. He always preferred to be on the listening rather than the be the one who talks.

"Like I said, you both are lucky. I can honestly tell you that there are probably millions of people who'd do anything to get someone like that," he said and smiled lightly, as though trying to tell her he understood, at least a little. "I met Kait when we were in first year, and even now, I still feel the same about her and more. And yes, you should definitely tell him as much as you can, even if you think he knows it."

Frodo chuckled and shook his head. "No, it's okay, I don't mind listening. Sometimes, it's better to tell things to a stranger, anyway simply because you can be assured that they won't judge you, and even if they do, it won't matter to you because you don't care about them personally. So go ahead, and rant all you want."

"You're a good person, you know that Frodo," she smiled at him. "I think I should have spent more of my time talking to people like you.... instead of, whatever I did."

She gave a soft laugh, shaking her head, causing the volumes of hair to flounce around her shoulders.

"You know... I didn't tell him I loved him until last year. Five, six years, I probably loved him the whole time, though it took me a year or two to realize it, and yet I couldn't say it. I almost missed it because... I was scared it would make it hurt more."

Frodo grinned lightly and nodded his head. "Yeah, I know that, though I think sometimes it can be a bad thing since people tend to take advantage of it. No, don't think like that. I'm sure you had reasons to have done the things you did. There is a long way to go from now, anyway."

"It always takes us while to realize how true our emotions are," he replied. "And then it hits us when we least expect it. I'm sure you felt better after saying it...didn't hurt, did it?"

Ashleen shook her head, "No. Don't lose it. I don't know many genuinely nice people in this world. It would be a terrible thing to lose one of the few. You're rare. Don't you feel special?"

She gave him a lopsided grin and a half laugh.

His words were rational, an attempt to sooth her worry - more proof that he was a good caring person - but it only caused her more confusion. She bit her lip.

"It did feel good. It still does, sometimes... sometimes I say it... even when he's not around," she felt a deep blush fill her face as she admitted that fact. She had never told anyone that, and she certainly had no idea what made her admit it now, "I know its stupid but sometimes I just feel like... if I let the universe know then it can't..." it can't take him away from me was what she had been going to say. But she let that statement die. That fear was too secret, too private, and far too close to happening for her to say aloud. "Then maybe it will get back to him... somehow."

"Special? Yes, I admit I do feel that sometimes," Frodo admitted and blushed lightly as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "I've heard it quite many a times, but I've always thought people are just mocking me for being the way I am. After all, I'm not like the kind of boys, a girl would want."

His smile turned into a more friendly and reassuring one as he listened to his fellow Prefect's confession. "It's not stupid, Ashleen," he told softly and shook his head. "You do it because you worry about him constantly, am I right? This may just seem like words like you, but I know how you feel. I'm scared to death for Kait everyday, especially when she disappears unexpectedly," he said with a sigh. "I know she won't listen to me, so I resort to just hoping and praying that she's alright."

"Don't stop doing it, if it makes you believe he'll be safe with your words," he advised. "You do not have to worry if it's stupid or not."

"I think you're exactly the kind of guy a girl should want," Ash spoke softly and honestly. She was neither trying to flatter nor flirt, just speaking the truth. Everything would be easier, for any girl, if they just fell for the geniunely nice guy next door.

A soft smile pulled at her cheeks, "Worry is... well its not good but... it means you care; its more worrysome when they stop worrying - when they stop worrying... they've probably stopped caring."

She bit her lip, looking at the ground. The thought felt heavy the longer she dwelled upon it.

"Kait," she mused for a moment, the name triggering a memory, "Yes... I can see why you worry about her... not to say that-" she frowned. He had done such a good job of listening to her, the least she could do was attempt not to be her usual tactless self. "She's a good person, just... I can recognize those others with problems. I have enough of them meself."

Frodo's blush turned darker, just like it usually did when someone gave him an honest comment. "Should want, but don't want," he corrected his fellow Hitrost and grinned lightly. "I mean, girls don't fall for the shy, smart types anymore, yes? Not that I mind, since I'm already booked for."

Even he couldn't deny the truth in her words. Worry was definitely a sign that the person cared, no matter how big or how small. "Always worrying that they're safe and sound," he murmured, almost to himself. "Kind of like a torture for the person worrying, though. But it's worth it."

He chuckled softly and nodded his head. "Glad to see that someone else understands why I'm scared for a lot," he admitted. "Big problems indeed, she's dealt with and still dealing with a lot of bad stuff," he sighed. "Nowadays, it feels like we're growing distant. I don't know..." he trailed off, realizing he was probably boring Ashleen.

"I'm sorry, it's been a while since I've talked to someone about this," he mumbled an apology.

Ashleen gave a slight smirk, "Oh they do - its just most of them need to be burned by the rest of them once or twice before they realize your type is safer, better."

"Its okay," the girl spoke softly, tilting her head as she gazed at him with slight compassion, though she hardly knew how to express that feeling anymore, "You listened to me rant, this is the least I can do, is it not?"

She gave a soft chuckle, and frowned for a moment, thinking through what he had said.

"I don't know Kait well enough to know what's going on with her, I only spoke to her a couple of times - one of which I was suffering from my own... - but," she flipped the cover of the book, in her hands but long forgotten, open, starring down at the blank page, "Don't push her. It may sound hard, espeically when you're worried, and just want to help, but sometimes pushing just... pushes us away, even if that wasn't the intention."

"But you girls tend to feel that 'safer' is boring, right?" Frodo questioned curiously. In fact, Kait had admitted to him in the beginning that at first, she had just set out to make him a bit of the crazy type, rather than actually falling for him. But by some miracle, two very opposite people had managed to get together.

He smiled hesitantly and said, "Yes, but I am pretty much used to listening to people's rants. You don't seem to be much of the listening type. I apologize if that seems to be a quick judgement on my part," he added.

The Hitrost nodded his head in agreement to the girl's advice. "I know, and as much as it's bad for me, I do try my best not to ask too many questions and just be there for her, you know? It's just that, when she randomly disappears without informing anyone, it hurts me that she doesn't even stop to think how such a decision could affect me." He sighed. "The least she could do is at least talk to me, before she takes off like that."

Pausing, Ashleen actually pondered the question, "I don't know so much if we think you're boring... we just... I think we think we're supposed to fall for the night in shinning armour, or if we don't do that, rebel and bring home the boy daddy won't like. When you don't fall into either of those catagories... maybe we forget to look for ourselves, really see whats, who's of value."

"No, no," she shook her head, giving a laugh, "You're spot on. I don't listen at all. I don't listen to rules, I don't listen to other people. I'm always about me, me, me... maybe I'll give the mysterious 'you' a try, huh?"

His words made sense. She completely understood where he was coming from. It ws hard, having someone being there one moment and totally gone the next. It was hard when you understood where they went, why the had to - it was even worse when you had no idea at all.

Though she also thought she might have understood Kait's reasoning as well.

"Sometimes... when there is so much going on in the world, everything pushing down on you... you don't have time for smart decisions, for talking - discussing. Sometimes you don't even know whats going on, its just... instinct. Something in your body telling you what to do and when to do it."

"Ah, so it's more like the good guy gets picked last, huh?" Questioned the Hitrost and smiled amusedly. "Either that or girls finally become desperate and decide that guys like me won't hurt them." These weren't thoughts that crossed his mind often, since he had been with Kait for a long time. But while he was here talking to Ashleen, he couldn't help but allow his doubts to resurface.

He chuckled and rubbed the back of his sheepishly. "Nothing mysterious about me really, I'm kind of like an open book. But I appreciate that you'd want to give me a chance."

"I know that's exactly how Kait feels, everything working against her and she being desperate to get rid of it. Yet, the way she worries me is so much," he sighed and leaned his head against the bookshelf. "I don't think she understands just how much I do worry or care for her. I do not mind if she goes away rather than talking to me. I only wish that she would at least me, rather than leaving me in the dark," he admitted.

Frodo had never told about this to anyone, reason being that he knew no one would get why he'd have to worry about Kait. But his fellow Prefect seemed to understand him and even if it was temporary, he wax content for now.

"I suppose so, but isn't last the best place to be?" She wiggled her eyebrow, "If you're the last one they have, you aren't ever going to get replaced by someone else."

Finally realizing that it was useless to continue to hold on to the thing she hadn't even read, Ashleen slide the book back onto the shelf.

"Maybe you should tell her. Next time you see her, just try to explain. Don't acuse, or yell, just talk. If she cares, I'm sure she'll make an effort.... anyone would try to change, to make things easier for the ones they love."

Frodo grinned a little and nodded his head slowly. "Thank you for that comforting statement, I suppose," he said and rolled his eyes good naturedly. "Whatever be the case, I hope you're right; that I don't ever get replaced."

"I have tried to tell her, I've told her lots of times," he admitted. "I'm sure she understands what I'm going through each time, but I also know that it's not in her nature to actually think of others first and just be impulsive instead. I do wish she would slow down a little though, it's too much to keep up at times."

"Of course I'm right," her usual confidence was slowly starting to bolster its way back into her. "I'm always right - you'd be good to remember that."

She let out a breath, and slowly thought about what he was saying.

"Well then, I suppose thats the moment then, isn't it? The moment where you realize they aren't ever going to change - not anytime soon anyways, probably likely not at all. THen it comes down to one question doesn't it?"

She raised an eyebrow, leaning towards her fellow prefect.

"When it comes down to either Kait, or no Kait ... do you really care about anything else?"

Frodo raised an eyebrow at his fellow Prefect, but nodded his head nonetheless. "Since you specifically mentioned it, I'll be sure to keep that thought in mind."

"As long as I have Kait, nothing else matters," was his instant reply. There was nothing to think about; it was an instinctive response for him. "It is not that I want her to change Ashleen, it's just that I wish she would listen to me at least once," he told softly and looked away, as though ashamed to have admitted such a thing about the one he loves.

"I'm a little out there, aren't I?" He questioned with a forced chuckle.